Wednesday, March 14, 2012

My open letter for all the single moms out there

Dear Doubter,

You know who are. You are the one who told me when I was 6 weeks pregnant that I should consider giving my child up for adoption. That there were plenty of wealthy families in Orange County that would love to have a new baby. People that could provide a much better life for my child than I could.

Why? Because I was a single 32-year old woman and couldn't possibly offer this child what he needed.

Why? Because I didn't own a home or have a six-figure income. Because we all know that money is what buys love and happiness right?

You doubted me. You doubted my abilities.

Money does not buy love or happiness. Sure, it helps when you're not struggling paycheck to paycheck, but a child does not know the difference between a brand new toy and used toy. It's a toy. A child does not care if their clothes are brand new, designer labeled or if they come from a consignment store. The important thing is that a parent provides clothing for a child.

Yes, I struggled and sometimes still struggle - but I have friends and family that have always been there to help with babysitting and moral support when I need it.  My son never suffered or wanted for anything when he was a baby, a toddler, and now an 8-year old boy. He is loved more than you will ever know.

Why? Because I don't think you know what love is or what it means to be a mother. You may take your family on vacations across the world and my vacations may only be to San Diego for the weekend, but I bet we have more fun than you do. Why? Because we appreciate the vacation and don't take anything for granted. We don't live in a big house on the hill or drive a fancy car, but we have a roof over our head and a car that doesn't guzzle gas.

I have wanted to write this letter to you for some time now. My son, you know the one you wanted to me to give away, just had a report card that blew me away. More than the one last year.
He is reading at a 4th grade reading level (reminder, he's in 3rd grade) - he is excelling in math and science - he is a Cub Scout - he will be getting his 3rd grade Bible in a few days - he's an artist - he loves animals - he is everything that he should be and more.

Why? Because I loved him and gave him things that money couldn't buy.

So the next time that you see a single woman, an unwed woman, who is pregnant think twice before you open your mouth. Single moms work harder than you do. Single moms don't have everything handed to them. Single moms know how to love. Single moms are strong.

We will fight harder for our children and protect them from people like you more than anyone I know. Never doubt the love of a single mom.

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