Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Redefining who I am

I have spent the past three nights doing pretty much nothing. Well, not nothing because I have enjoyed spending time with Dylan and catching up on reading some magazines that seemed to pile up faster than I thought possible. I have been able to get a good nights sleep and noticed things in my surroundings that have always been there, but that I was just too preoccupied to notice.

I have had time to reflect on my choices and my decisions that I have made for myself. Time to redefine who I am and what I want. Mid-life changes, coming of age, who knows ... I will be 42 years old next month and started thinking what have I done with my life? What legacy will I leave behind for my child, and hopefully one day, my grandchildren? Have I really done anything that spectacular? No, not really.

I didn't lose as many followers as I thought I would when I changed the blog last week. However, there is one more change that I wanted to make. A change that would really force me to redefine who I am. This decision took me a while to make. 
For almost 14 years I have been a makeup artist or worked in the beauty industry. My focus has been cosmetics, beauty, and skin care. People have come to know me as this. However, what  I discovered is that this was not my passion in life - rather it was my obsession. Does that make sense? It was something I was good at, and still am, yet it's not who I am. For those of you have been following Beautyisms, you may have noticed the Facebook page is gone and no tweets have been going out. Well, this is because I am stepping away from my obsession. I am ending that part of my life. I am moving on.

My real passion in life has always been animals and the environment. During high school I became active in Greenpeace and drove an hour just to be part of a dolphin movement called Don't Say Goodbye. The decor of my home has always been nature and ocean inspired and now with my son we are adding more animal inspirations. This is who I am and what I want to be known for.

I remember how scared I was when I told my parents that I was pregnant - especially considering I was single and knew the guy wouldn't be around. Something that my Dad told me has always stuck with me. He said, God does things for a reason. 

I believe that now more than ever because my son, through his love of animals, reminded me of my true passion. The passion that inspires me to see the world as a better place than I did before. 

The passion that brings me to tears when I see pictures of animals being killed for their body parts. 

The passion that gives me such a sense of calmness and peace when I see the ocean. 

The passion that comes with such enthusiasm and sincerity to share - To inspire others.